My Hospice Blog – He described his continued interest in women.
When a hospice volunteer sees a patient he/she never knows where the conversation will go. Since our job is to listen, the conversations can wander in different directions. You could call it stream of consciousness. If you haven’t already discovered this from my previous posts, this posting will offer a good example.
When I saw Henry this time, he mentioned that he was taking a new drug to help reduce his shortness of breath. You can see my description of his oxygen consumption in my previous post. Henry had earlier told me that he had trouble breathing and I was happy to hear that the new drug was working. He was breathing comfortably now. Filling our lungs with air is something I took for granted until I heard the anxiety patients feel when their breath becomes challenged.
Henry and I also talked about the recent “intergenerational visits.” This is an activity where the residents meet with four and five year-old children from a local kindergarten. It’s a field trip for the children, but it’s really a bright spot in the lives of the patients.
Often the patients are seated in chairs or wheelchairs around the exterior of a large activity room. The children enter under the supervision of their teachers. Some of the children clearly recognize a resident they’ve met before, but that’s rare. These visits aren’t frequent enough to facilitate that kind of relationship. The more common interaction is when a child is brought to a senior and introduced. The patient is typically so happy for the visit that they shower the children with questions and praise for their simple answers.
You can see the children become more comfortable and confident as the time passes. There are some patients who have trouble communicating with the children because if a stroke or some other disability. In those cases the teacher aids in the interaction. If you spend any time in a nursing home you note a large population of patients who sit in a quite stupor unable to communicate. Those residents are noticeably absent when the children arrive. It’s sad for those patients, but understandable given the innocents in the room.
Henry clearly enjoys these visits and told me it restores his confidence in the future. He says that these visits have made him confident that the next generation will be smarter than any before.
Just as quickly as the conversation about children came up, it changed to focus on Henry’s girlfriend. He described his continued interest in women. He said he hasn’t lost the attraction. His girlfriend used to live in an apartment near his, but her children moved her to another facility. They stay in touch via frequent phone calls, and the rare occasion when her children drive her over for a visit.
I was struck with the similarities to a teenage relationship when parents drive you and your girlfriend to a movie and pick you up at the appropriate time. It’s touching to hear the comfort he expresses when he describes their attraction.
Cecil, please don’t feel inadequate for not speaking Italian! You can speak a much deeper language, an universal language: the “Soul Language”. I ‘ve been following your blog and I share it in a group called Hospice on Facebook. Thanks a lot for your example.
A hug from
Ayres